Serving in the military is a great way to help our country, but it can be tough on families, especially when it comes to child custody. If a parent gets deployed, both parents need to adjust their custody plan fast.
In Massachusetts, parents must file a temporary change to their custody agreement in case of a military deployment. Even if you both agree on the temporary plan, you will still need to see a judge to make it official.
Your rights while deployed
Deployment only puts your child custody plan on pause. You still maintain custody rights throughout your service period. Since the change is only temporary, the original custody plan automatically resumes when you return home.
Additionally, you don’t have to worry about your ex-spouse trying to permanently change the custody agreement while you’re serving. The Servicemember’s Civil Relief Act protects your rights as a parent during your service.
Your responsibilities if you have the kids
If you’re the parent staying with the kids, you need to keep the other parent informed about major decisions regarding the child’s health, education, and welfare. Your main focus should be supporting your child during this time. Here are some tips:
- Stay in touch: Use technology to help your child talk to the deployed parent through calls or video chats.
- Be positive: Avoid saying negative things about the deployment or the other parent’s military service.
- Share important moments: Include the deployed parent in celebrations and milestones using photos and video calls.
Helping your child maintain a good relationship with their deployed parent is crucial for their emotional health—as well as your custody rights. If your child becomes upset or doesn’t want to visit the returning parent, you might face accusations of parental alienation or trying to turn them against the other parent.
Creating stability during military service
Deployment can shake up custody arrangements and family dynamics, but you can help your child through it. Keeping communication open between both parents and supporting your child’s emotional needs is a huge help in maintaining some stability.
Consider working with a family counselor who knows about military families. And if you’re unsure about anything that may affect your custody, it’s wise to consult a family law attorney.