There are few conversations in life as challenging as that where you tell your spouse you want to divorce them. It’s important to plan how you plan to go about breaking the news to minimize the potential for problems.
Here are some things to think about as you approach this all-important conversation.
1. When would be a good time?
This is not going to be a quick or easy conversation, so don’t initiate it when your spouse is on their way out the door or you need to be somewhere else half an hour later.
Consider what you, your spouse and any of your children have scheduled in the coming weeks. Telling your spouse you are divorcing them just before they have a job interview would be unfair. Doing so when your daughter is about to arrive home from a year away at college could make for an uncomfortable dynamic for everybody.
2. What happens after?
You might not feel like being in the same house the night after you tell your spouse. It may be wise to ask a friend or family member in advance if it will be all right to stay with them for a night or two. At the very least, think about how you could give your spouse (and yourself) some space in the house, whether that means moving to a separate bedroom or something else.
3. Do I have the information I need?
During that initial conversation, you do not need to have all the answers about how you expect the divorce to work or what you want. However, arming yourself with at least some information can be helpful. For one, it can give you perspective so you don’t get overly worried about something your spouse might say in anger, especially if they’re prone to making threats.
Many people obtain legal guidance before they have a conversation about divorce. If you haven’t already sought more information, it may be time.